Having a strong healthy bond with your dog does not equate to creating an overly dependent and obsessive relationship with your dog.
When I see a dog that is overly dependent and obsessive with their owner or a particular family member, I always see a dog owner that is obsessive and overly emotionally dependent on their dog.
If your dog cannot handle being away from you when you are at home, or cannot settle unless it knows it has direct contact with you the moment it feels the need, then you most probably have to accept that you have an unhealthy relationship with your dog.
No social animal on this planet will reward or reinforce obsessive or overly dependent behaviour in regards to its relationship with another member of its social group, except it appears, humans and their dogs. Mothers will indeed punish their pups when they start to become too obsessive of her once she starts weaning them, and will break their dependency of her, that however does not destroy a healthy bond. She will start instilling boundaries. She does not offer the pups unconditional obsessive affection. She STOPS mothering her pups! If the pup then tries to become overly dependent on any other member of the social group, they too will punish that behaviour.
|Watch how this mother instantly settles these puppies when she enters the room. The majority of humans would instantly make a fuss of these puppies, intensifying the pups overly anxious and hyper-aroused state.|
So many dog owners bring a new puppy home, and the overly obsessive mothering with affection is instantly commenced, going totally against natural psychological and behavioural development. Then the pups owner wonders why their dog, as its maturing, cannot handle being separated from them. They wonder why their dog can't handle out of the ordinary situations, due to being too reliant and dependent on its owners reassurance.
Why do so many dog owners feel the need to overwhelm their puppy and/or dog with affection? The amount of affection they would NEVER offer a member of the same species as them, not even other family members. This need to mother, pamper, and overwhelm with affection puppies and then dogs is the number one reason so many dogs develop behavioural issues. Why so many dogs end up with psychological issues such as anxiety, insecurity, fear phobias, and the like. Even dogs developing bullying and antisocial behaviours around other people and dogs.
This unnatural desire so many dog owners have to be obsessively compelled to give an unhealthy amount of affection to dogs is one of the major reasons we are seeing so many dogs that have an unhealthy and obsessively dependent relationship with their owners. Why is it that we do not see this behaviour as unnatural? If we behaved the same way around other humans, even children, it would be considered (and rightly so) as totally unnatural, and conducive to an unhealthy relationship.
It is very important that we develop and build a healthy strong bond with our dog. However, that does not mean an unhealthy dependent and obsessive relationship, by allowing our dog to become overly dependent, because we decided not to instil structure and boundaries in our relationship with our dog, and instead overwhelm the dog with unnatural and obsessive affection.
So many dog owners need to stop just looking at training to fix dogs behavioural issues, and blaming the dog. We need to focus on the relationship between the owner and their dog. Many dog owners need to be able to be honest with themselves, look in the mirror, and accept that they are offering their dog a major disservice by creating overly dependent and an obsessive emotionally charged relationship, only to appease to their own deep emotional needs. By not doing so, these types of owners are being selfish, because they are placing their own emotional needs above their dogs psychological well-being.
Respecting a dogs natural relationship needs, by creating boundaries, structure and earned affection, we build a more natural bond with our dog, a more harmonious and balanced relationship.
The joy of having a dog, is because it is a dog, and therefore respecting it as such...